I also had a sense of pockets of reality breaking down and of being within some kind of energy field, in which there was a creative exchange of consciousness. While I was certainly no scholar in this area, the idea of linear time began to seem questionable. It was as if there was no past, present or future but instead everything happened continually and simultaneously. It also occurred to me that the future may have already happened but I didn't know how it could have. I knew that there must be an explanation for some of the things that were going on, but I also knew that no one I had spoken to had the answers.
I remained in perpetual awe of it all. While I hadn't taken notice of the 'phenomena' at first, and then had been freaked out by it, I was now becoming used to, and even dependant, on it occurring. At first I wanted more and more stuff to happen to quell my disbelief. Now I wanted it to keep happening to reassure me that I was still in contact with my deceased loved ones or whatever it was. One day I decided to conduct my own experiment regarding the streetlights. I focused my thoughts on the set of streetlights on the corner of Malak Crescent and McMillans Road and was told, the lights will all switch on during the day within five days. I told Tricia that the streetlights would be coming on around her house in five days. Every day I went outside in the morning to check, much to her amusement and agitation. But by the fifth day, no lights had turned on there.
On the morning of the sixth day, while sitting on the lounge, I looked out the double glass sliding door and noticed that the streetlight in front of Tricia's gate was on. It was 9.30am. I raced outside. I was immediately told that, we will do things in our own way and in our own time. Tricia raced out into the front yard of the row of townhouses, still in her nightie. She 'freaked out' at the streetlight beaming in front of her gate. "See, I told you," I said. "That's them." She shook her head. "That's it", she said. "I'm ringing the council. I'm tired of all this shit!" She was afraid. So I decided to keep future incidents to myself. The light switched off while I was still looking at it.
After a number of other streetlight incidents, I wrote the following in my journal: "In my own case the streetlight 'phenomena' is definitely associated with what I am thinking or how I am feeling at the time. There appears to be a communication taking place. This includes the lights going on to reassure me regarding the deaths of my loved ones, the lights proving themselves by doing things that are unexpected and that I cannot put down to coincidence, such as my being told that a streetlight or lights will be on in a certain area during the day and then driving there to find the lights on, and then the lights going off or coming on for the people who associate with me." At the time I had attributed the lights to having a mind of their own since the consciousness seemed to exist outside my body.
I was still very ill with CFIDS and while I managed to drive to the gym I could only do a few weights. At first I would crawl from one machine to the next along the carpet and spend exactly one minute on the treadmill. The owner was encouraging and supportive and I appreciated this. At the end of each session I was light-headed and hunched over with nausea. Sometimes I was dry retching in the carpark. Over a period of three months I increased the weights from the lightest weight to double and eventually was able to walk for up to twenty minutes on the treadmill. I was always light-headed by the end of that time, but I did not have to wait as long before getting in the car and driving back to Tricia's place a few streets away.
While at Malak Crescent I mainly spent time in my small room upstairs in between the laptop and the bed. The computer was still switching off and the clock would gain time by an hour within a day. I noticed when I experienced the 'angelic' consciousness that all the physical pain of CFIDS disappeared. The fluorescent light in the bedroom gently flickered for around five minutes. Not long after I focused on it, it stopped. I then knew that the laptop was going to shut down and it did. Within five minutes it turned off and switched back on again. The book Dreamings: The Art of Aboriginal Australia fell face down onto the tiles in the room, as though it had been slammed down.
Even with other people in the house, I was still sleeping with a night light. My camping torch now doubled as a bedside lamp. One night before going to bed I switched this torch on. As I switched the bedroom light off, I heard a 'click, click' and the torch switched off, at exactly the same time as the light went off, leaving me in darkness. Whatever was switching the torch off was not positive. I did not like suddenly being in the dark. I decided that I had a choice in this, and so I told it to "piss off."
