As The Demons Finally Departed, The Enchanced Holy World, Faded Into A Dull And Resilient Mediocrity.
One evening while at the Square One classes run by The Faith Centre, I left the group during a break and went outside. As I looked into the darkness at the natural world, it was as though, before my very eyes, an invisible tide was sucked away from me. The demons, whom I had walked with, had been instructed to leave, and I was left alone for the first time in many years. The following is a description of how it felt to be seperated in mind, body and spirit, from a world of demonic deception. This was the very first stage of the seperation that was to continue over the next few years. Coming out of the enchantment that I had been placed under by The Dragon and his demons, was so devastating, that without the personal presence of Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit to uphold me from within, I would not have survived the experience.
"... 5:19. [And] we know that we are of God, and the whole world lieth in wickedness. 5:20. And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, [even] in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life. 5:21. Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen ..." [John 5:19-21, The Holy Bible, KJV]
I felt like I had just stepped out of an aged forest tree, into a clearing touched by the sun, exposed to the bare light of truth, as the shadows, like decaying matter, akin to tendrils around my feet, raced away from me in all directions, scattering like slaters into the soft earth. I looked down at the ground around me and to my dismay, it was no longer enhanced, as the daimonic fled from me, like a scurry of shadows, across the deeply olive moonlit grass. I was dying to their half world, of personified nature and numerous imaginings, into a world of stark self awareness, aloneness, bent over amongst the trees, bushes, stones and leaves, that were exactly that, and nothing more. I found myself alive and completely alone, no longer under immersion.
Unenchanted, flat, desolate, drained of energy, I grieved alone, miserably human. I didn't belong with them anymore. But I didn't belong here either. There was nowhere for me to go and nowhere known or safe, to return to now. It was an experience of abandonment, of energy escaping, of betrayal, of aloneness and grieving, for all that I was still losing and had lost, in this sudden shift of focus. It was a painful and brutal death, pulled out of the cocoon of their influence, I was dying to the fairy world ...
Without Jesus Christ And The Holy Spirit To Uphold Me, I Would Not Have Survived The Experience.
It was no longer the wind that spoke to me. It was just a movement of air rustling the leaves. The landscape had shut me out of its poetry. The tree was no longer a relative. Nor the moth a friend. Nor the moon a companion. Nor the river a journey. It was just tree bark and roots and dying leaves with death and corruption within their make up. The brightness of the clouds had become dull, the faces, precipitation only, the light more dim. Where there was dynamic movement, as in a process of continual evolution, there was now the grim perserverance of life, that clung to its form, afflicted by the pain and workings of death, that was within every living thing. Many things were only half sensed, as my concern was more with the departure of them. I was abandoned in a place, that I did not want and that I did not belong to.
Everything seemed to be moving rapidly away from me, so that I didn't feel anything uplifting anymore. It was like I had been living in some enchantment, some sphere of influence, that had enchanted not only myself, but the trees, the wind, the rain, the clouds, the rocks, the very ground I walked on, had been spiritually elevated, so that the natural world, had been brought up to the status of the heavenly realms. With heaven and earth touching, we need not build the tower of Babel. We need not reach any higher. We just needed to stay exactly where we were placed, surrounded and entranced, fully submerged. This is the enchantment of the fallen angel. Suddenly it vanished. It lifted off me like a blanket. I felt desolate, utterly exposed and alone.
I Was Confronted With A Sense Of Grief And Aloneness As The Dragon [As Moon], Observed From A Distance.
There was nothing spiritual, holy, or poetic about this night. No, nothing. I now saw little more than dirt and bark and leaves. "Nooo ...," I called out after them and all the while, a still calm voice beside me, the one to whom, I dared not speak, his watchful and reassuring presence, that I remembered and forgot at intervals. When I woke up from the dream of the world, I stood in a landscape that was no longer imbued with magic, spirits, legends, companions and all that was important within my own heart and for the first time in my life, without the consciousness of the demons affecting and guiding my own, I felt utterly alone, deceived and betrayed, by those whom I had trusted, who had encouraged my child like dependance on them.
Instead, they stood back and watched me take my first baby steps, from the magical realism of paganism, that insisted in worshipping fallen angels and turning them into little gods, into a reality of truth. Waking up from the lie that I had been living, was excrutiating and for awhile, I had to walk into that empty inbetween no man's land, where I was completely alienated from nature and where I belonged to no one ...
This World Was Not Beautiful Or Holy Or Magical. Letting Of The Delusion, Was An Extremely Painful Process.
Letting go of the world I had grown to love, under the influence of The Dragon and his demonic hoardes, was an extremely painful process. It felt like I was dying. But it was only dying to their slow moving dream, while under their sphere of influence, as it dropped away from me. I thought, I don't belong here. This world is not holy. God stepped in and had His holy angels rescue me, from a situation that I was simply not strong enough to get out of on my own. Without direct supernatural intervention of God Almighty, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit and the fighting and ministering holy angels of God, I would have remained deceived by The Dragon and his demons, only to be finally murdered in my delusion and then, swept away into eternal damnation.
After what seemed only like a few moments, I heard a loud male voice calling me back into the Square One course. It was the organiser, Ted. Doris came out to collect me. As we stood outside the lit entrance for a moment, a wind blew up in front of us with a swirl of leaves and there was the sound of footsteps moving along the ground towards us. I looked her in the eyes, "Did you hear that?" She replied, "It's nothing ... Come on. Let's go back inside." I was not permitted to insist upon anything, or to cause any argument, fear or strife amongst the people at the church. But I knew that Doris had heard it too and this was confirmed to me, by Kim, over a year later.
As a medium and a channel or a creative artists who is inspired, that being infilled with the spirits, I had been used as a tool, or a puppet, to promote worldly and earthly propaganda. I was trained to be a receptive vehicle for the will of The Dragon to work through and I had given his will, a 'voice', throughout my creative work.
It was a slow road back. But one on which it was important, that I took every step by myself, for during this painful seperation, I began to understand, that it was about strengthening my will again, my will, that had somehow been eaten alive, by the very spirits that I had been channelling, in my attempt to see the earth and all the physical world as holy. And holy it will never be. It is a haunted, lonely and predatory dream, created by fallen angels posing as little gods, demons posing as nature dieties and their claimed territories of sacred gardens, created in their name, affecting our consciousness, as we glorified in them and impressing upon us, their second rate supernatural powers and limited workings of miracles, to be witnessed through eyes of flesh and death, in every sacred grove and well and by many a standing stone.
God Rescued Me From A Situation, That I Was Not Strong Enough To Get Out Of, On My Own.
This website is part of my personal testimony that has been guided by The Holy Spirit and written in Jesus' name.
