OPENING THE BIBLE [2]: THE LIVING WORD OF GOD
The Bible Was The Only Book, Where The Words Spoke Back To Me. It Was Reading Me, As I Read It.
The Living Word Of God
When my focus was on The Bible, then it appeared that everything else in the world was sacrificed for this one great truth. The words were somehow amplified and they were spoken into myself. Each time this occurred, I knew the words to be true and often I was to hold my breath in awe. While I still did not understand that this was God's Word, I knew that what I was reading, was the truth and that anything outside of this truth, was a lie. I was barely able cope with with the fact, that Jesus was still alive, not only alive, but very present. My new age library was turned into a pile dust, not the glittering fairy dust of enchantment, but the dry and ancient dust, that had settled upon civilizations, as a result of ancient demonic malice and deception.
The Bible was the only book that I required now. It reminded me of an old washing detergent advertisement, that I had seen on television as a child, where a woman's hand, had swept all the products out of an old cupboard beneath the kitchen sink, to to replaced with a single shiny new bottle. In this case, however, I was replacing the hundreds of shiny new books, with just one very old book, ... the living Word of God, overlooked in motel rooms, surgery receptions and countless households for almost two thousand years. If only people knew what the ramifications were, there would not be a Bible left closed, for more than a few seconds, anywhere in the world.
I began to weep throughout the day and this would continue for over a year. The weeping started from a combination of my love for God, my joy that Jesus was alive, coupled by a sense of being completely emotionally overwhelmed, by a situation, entirely unexpected. Through The Bible, and the voice behind the words entering my consciousness, I continued to reclaim my humanity. A myriad of thoughts filled my head alongside the feelings. Joy, joy that Christ was still alive. I thought that he was beyond reach after he died. Despair, despair I had lost my relationship with him. All my life without him. Sorrow, sorrow that I may have hurt or offended God with what I had done. The sadness made my face ache and my heart clenched tight in grief. While many books had made me cry, this was the only book that was not fiction.
There was nothing human that could have saved me from The Dragon's vice like grip, since the majority of humanity were asleep inside the same matrix. And that is why God angels were sent to minister and then, when things really heated up, God sent his fighting angels. I was rescued by angels who believed in Christ. I was assisted by Christians who prayed for me. It felt like a seven months of a gruelling and intensive exorcism. Where to begin? I simply did as I was told. But this is sometimes/ often not easy, when one is dealing with invisible forces, that were more powerful and more intelligent that I was. So then I would be rebuked and sometimes a mistake would be also made, and I would appear to fall into the claws of The Dragon, for a brief time.
BACK TO ME.
Then The Dragon would gloat through the pc or a car would pass with the number plate [BACKTOME]. These were lessons, that I would never forget, since they involved an intense assault on my spirit, mind and my body. I have never clung on so hard, to survive, as I did at that time. I could not expect help from what I refered to as 'the human world', who, were still sleep walking and plugged into Satan's earthly podcast, or as I heard a Christian refer to it once as, "the demonic intent", in otherwords, the atmosphere of the earth. Reality was more evil than anything I could have imagined. I had not been taught about 'demons' or 'dragons' in Sunday school and nor was I even aware that they actually appeared throughout The Bible.
The Bible was the thing that I relied upon, as I woke up inside Satan's Matrix. God's holy angels described it, in terms that I would understand, that being, that it was the icing on the cake. This was true, because The Bible was only covering and affirming, that which I already knew to be true. Still, I just couldn't believe that I would finally find all the answers here, in The Bible ... Again, I thought of all the dusty old editions, with dull unopened covers and faded gold lettering, overlooked and forgotten in drawers and on bookshleves, around the world, and within its pages, was the truth. These were my very first thoughts as I began to wake up.
It was astounding to discover, that the thing that I had been looking for all my life, had been right beneath my eyes. The adversary was indeed clever, relying on and then managing our corrupted natures, as we were lead astray by the promise of knowledge and truth, in ever increasingly complexities of spiralling false light, with fallen angels fueling the literature of the decieved world. The Dragon wanted to turn me into what he was, displeasing to and rejected by the one Holy God. He wanted to drag me off to Hell, where he would be given permission to torture my soul. Still not considering myself Christian, I thought The christians were right, shaking my head in astonishment, with a gladness filling my heart, the christians were right all along.
The Agony Of The Cross
I Did Not Have The Strength To Go Through The Death Of Jesus Over And Over Again.
As I progressed through The New Testament, my expectations were again turned on their head, as I quickly discovered that these gospels, that I was now starting to read, were the all same?! ... It was the same story, going to be retold by these men, these disciples who walked with Jesus, over and over again. Having been a knowledge addict, seeking after more and more new information, lies fed to me by The Dragon, I was at first a little disappointed by this. I wanted a new story about Jesus in every chapter. If they were just going to repeat the same story over and over again, then it was simply not going to be enough. I needed to know more. I thought, the more knowledge I had, the closer to knowing Jesus I would be. I was concerned that The Bible would not have enough new content, in order to sustain my interest. That was before I found out that The Bible was the living Word of God. It was unlike anything I had ever read. It was an exchange. It was a supernatural text.
The second thing that concerned me, was that awful sense of suffering and loss that I felt, each time Jesus died on the cross. I had lost Jesus as a child when he died on the cross. I thought, do I have to go through this [pain] over and over again? I didn't want to go through it all over again. The loss of him ... So that there was nothing left in this world, aside from the continuance and mocking laughter, of those who had murdered him. I blamed this on human kind and deep down inside, unbeknowns to myself at the time, I also blamed it on God. All the movies that I had fretted over as a child, had ended with the death of Jesus. The loss was final, heaven unknown, unreachable. So I had been relieved, to read all about Paul, The Apostle and about the many appearances of Jesus, after his death and the ACTS of the disciples, a few weeks later. I was delighted and overjoyed to think that Jesus was alive and present.
Convicted: The Hypocrite
"You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly ..." [Mathew 7.5] Ouch!
But The Bible wasn't just about feeling good inside. Much to my suprise, The Dragon wasn't the only one accusing me of being a 'hypocrite.' Only days after I had first opened The Bible, I began to think about others, who had not opened The Bible, in a judgmental way. The response was instantaneous. As I opened to Mathew 7.5 and The Bible suddenly appeared to speak directly back to me! It was the spirit of Jesus inside my mind. "You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Again, I knew this was the truth and every time I went to judge someone on my own authority and based upon my own standards, of what I thought was right or wrong, I heard the voice of Jesus [not The Dragon] say, "You hyprocite." Oh my God, I thought, he was right. This was to occur several times, before I stopped my judging others, by own standards, rather than against what God said was right or wrong, through His Word.
As I read through The Bible, I was soon to discover, that passing 'judgment', under my own authority, wasn't the only thing that was wrong with me. Since when did I stop forgiving people who attacked me and attack them back instead? Since when had 'winning a fight' become so important to me? I was horrified at the fact, that what I had always held important ethically, seemed to have been slowly worn down, by perpetual and constant attack throughout my life, so that I turned slowly rabid, snarling and biting back, as I was weakened and walked upon my knees, as I literally did crawl with CFIDS and the attacks came thick and fast. Then I did what anyone would do, who was weak and ill, I fought back, rather than letting God judge all things, and leaving it all up to God. This was a sin that was to become habitual.
So it was through the Word of God, that my pride, disguised as self confidence, took its first unexpected tumble. As I began to read The New Testament, the mere voice of Christ, told me how far I had gone from him and all his teachings, that I had learnt in scripture classes as a child. I was shocked when the words of The Bible, appeared to speak directly to me. What kind of book was this? Certainly, alot more 'exciting' than I had been led to believe. More tellingly, why was The Dragon suddenly silent? I tried to do the right thing, the ethical thing. But apparently I was nowhere near as good, as I thought I was ... I certainly had failed to come anywhere near Jesus. It was only after I read the gospels, that I was horrifed, of how unlike Christ I was and how far I had moved, in the opposite direction, to what he had wanted for my life.
The Holy Spirit Came Upon Me. I Had Been Convicted. Human Ethics Cannot Prevail Against Satan. |
