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KNOW YOUR BOAT [1]: WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE
There Was Alot Going On In The Spritual Dimension, That I Could Only Vaguely Sense.
There were things on my mind that were unable to surface, in order to be dealt with. It was a spiritual crisis beyond all imagining and many of the 'selves' had gone into hiding. I was fascinated by The Dragon and yet terrified that he would materialise at the same time. I didn't know what he was capable of, as if he had been holding back.
I did not understand, that God was in control of everything that was happening. Rosie from Kim's church said, "God is in control." I heard the words and tried to believe them, but it wasn't sinking in. It felt like I was in a fight for my life. I was afraid of The Dragon and yet I longed for him. It was something that I was unable to admit and The Dragon taunted me over it and insisted that I was feeling this for Mackenzie, in order to further conceal himself. Kim from 'church' had first alerted me, to the fact that seperating from 'him', was like trying to get out of a long term relationship, with an abusive male partner. But I was not to find out, until almost four years later, exactly how 'long term' and 'íntimate' my relationship with The Dragon had been.
While I wanted out, I still felt somehow under the control of The Dragon ... I was unable to admit it and nor did I know what to do about it. I was to spend the next five months, in a state of shock, regarding the truth of my situation. I knew that my life had been weird, but I was not prepared for how far I was about to be taken, outside my own version of reality. I was driving around with my jaw dropped, barely able to cope, or at least coping a little bit at a time, moment by moment. Everything I thought that I loved and that I had assumed was true, was pulled away like a magic carpet beneath my feet. The words coming to life in The Bible, were the only tangible thing, I had left to cling to, as The Dragon attempted to swallow me whole.
The Dragon Would Refer To 'Our Relationship', As A Collison Of Worlds, Or Consciousness.
While Mackenzie and Boots had followed me back to Australia from Edinbuirgh, making the Dragon very angry with jealously, The Dragon was also posing as Mackenzie. This had the effect of me putting everything onto Mackenzie, while he concealed his own identity. I had felt genuinely sad for Mackenzie, but it was The Dragon that I was unable to get away from, like there was some kind of spell over me. This was all very confusing at the time. All I knew, was that I was being 'fought over', by invisible minds/ non-human consciousnesses, greater and more powerful than my own and I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. Add to the mix ... holy angels of God, who were now involved and I often felt wedged in, unable to move left to right, but caught inbetween, afraid and simply hoping, that I had chosen the right side.
I had no idea why any of this was happening. I just tried my best to do as I was told and I wanted to find out as much as I could about 'demons' or 'jinn', as I was still refering to them at the time. It would still take me a while to break through The Dragon's programming, in order to adopt the correct Biblical terminology. There were no 'jinn' or 'genie'. They were demons. When I asked God's ministering and fighting angels, why they used the word 'genie' that one time, which was a muslim word and not a christian. And in my own words, they replied something along the lines of, that it was the only way in which to get my attention and to get me to think about my situation. They told me, that if they had used the word 'demons', I would have disregarded it and not taken it seriously. The word 'genie' caught my attention and lead me to the word 'demon' online, but it was still some time, before I was out of the dark, or awake enough, in order to see things as they really were.
The Dragon Just Wouldn't Let Up, Over My Brief Interaction With Mackenzie, While In Edinburgh.
The Dragon did not make things easy for me, now that I was reading The Bible. He was coming after me with accusations. Mackenzie and Boots were still hanging around intermittently and The Dragon's legions of demons were swarming around me, pricking me all over my body at intervals. I was now reading The Bible, every day, but I also had to find out as much as I could about 'the jinn' and 'demons'. I would absorb and devour the books and anything else I could find online, within days and hours. I ordered a load of books from Amazon. As I drove along The Stuart Highway, back to the unit in Progress Drive in Nightcliff, on the way home from Australia Post in Darwin, with several small boxes of books on the front seat of the 4WD, The Dragon responded sardonically in a large car sticker placed directly in front of me.
KNOW, KNOW, KNOW YOUR BOAT.
The Dragon Liked Boats And Ships And Was Refering To Himself As My Boat.
While Pastor Sue from Kim's church, told me that I, must have somehow given these 'demons' permission to enter my life, The Dragon appeared to applaud my reading of as many books as I could, in order to find out about them. He was still obsessed with everything that I did and anything that I did now, seemed to either amuse or enrage him, but the underlying emotion was always RAGE. I still didn't know what I could have done wrong, in order to have 'enraged' him so much, but it wasn't so much what I had done, but who I belonged to and The Dragon would have known this all along. The Dragon and his associates appeared to know and accept the fact, that I was a Christian, even before I did. The Dragon was later to tell me I was nothing more than a 'trophy' to him, admitting that 'they' had always considered me as a potential RISK.
I Thought That The Ring That 'My Guides' Had Given Me, Was About My Initiation As A Shaman.
In my journal I wrote the following: "... The attacks became more overt and the nightmares accompanied by the noises in my ears began. The first one was of my mother turning into a monster, covered by very loud buzzing in my ears as she was covered with blowflies. I walking along a street in Paris, when this nasty man flashes his eyes at me. Then I am suddenly bumped around by a group of men. Demons, but I see them as human beings. I am pushed down by them as they use a big white gate and hold me under it like they have caught me in a net. I am not afraid, but I say up to them telepathically, why are you doing this? The faces are sneering and evil and the response is ... because we like to. As I wake up, I use the force of my will and the name of Jesus, to telepathically to rid my consciousness of them. Each time I extert my will in this way, I see chain lighting striking down from the sky into the black landscape and then they go ..."
The First Five Months Or So, After Being Saved, Were Spent In A State Of Shock And Confusion.
In the following email, The Dragon was preteding to be Mackenzie Knight, describing himself as [The Monitor] and I arriving in Edinburgh several times. But this is actually The Dragon speaking in his characteristic sardonic tone and The Monitor also ended up being the way in which he refered to the holy angel that God sent to minister to protect me. The Dragon was envious of my relationship with Jesus, whom he openly mocked. But his most venomous hatred appeared to be towards God's holy angel. It had never occurred to me, the animosity that must exist in the minds of the ones [angels], that fell... towards those angels who remained holy and with God. The Dragon also constantly refered to Kim Brown from church, as 'Tom Brown', to Mackenzie Knight the demon as a 'shapeshifter and predatory cat', and to myself in this instance, as a 'conventional secretary' and to himself, in this instance, as 'Harbinger', [The Dragon from my early childhood]. He always has more names, extra labels ... as if to constantly define and redefine. He was very good at name calling.
["Are you still alive? Did you ask TOM BROWN [Kim Brown] to receive your funds?
(Nahuatl for "tiger/jaguar," where the name ocelot originated). Refers to the Order of the Tiger Knights amongst the Aztec initiates. These initiates specialized in Jinn science and are considered as Nahua (see: Nahua). They would enter in to the Jinn state and shape shift into Tigers or Jaguars while pronouncing the sacred mantra "We belong to each other."
She and her associate, the Monitor, made several short teasing appearances [he is refering to us being in Edinburgh], when the Crisis on Infinite Earths began. Up until Crisis, she and Monitor appeared to be simple, albeit somewhat pompous, weapons brokers. At the time, she served the Monitor as a fairly conventional secretary.
Harbinger will be returning as a Black Lantern in the Blackest Night crossover.(With her mind temporarily altered to make her more accommodating), What can make a man more self-reliant than previous victories? What victories can be more important than amorous ones?"]
The Dragon Was Always Leading Me To Works Of Art, Showing Angels Seducing Women.
The Dragon knew something that I didn't and I became a target to be stopped under any circumstances, while he continued to claim ownership over me. The attacks would come, but I wasn't dead, so I learnt very early on, that there appeared to be definite limits, as to what he could and could not do. Mackenzie could possess animals such as cats and birds. The Dragon was easily able to utilise and manipulate other human beings around me, including people from Kim's church, at least for a moment, getting them to say and do things for him, while they appeared to remain unaware of what they were saying or doing. He was later to refer to the city of Darwin as his 'TOY BOX' and to the churches in Darwin as his 'TOY LIBRARY', where he could borrow some 'TOYS', before having to return them, to their rightful owner.
Furthermore, because I was walking in a trance state, for a number of years, this suited him just fine, as he scanned and assisted me, with reprogramming my own mind. During the attack by The Dragon, there was a sarcastic remark, on the pc:
please go into your deep trance state again.
The physical attacks from a myriad of unseen entities continued, as my body was shaken or pricked, or something Mackenzie, as a black fog of swarming flies [an unclean spirit], tried to enter into my body, to get into my bloodstream, to have my muscles cramp suddenly beneath my skin. But the main attack was on my spirit and this occured through my thinking processes. It was a battle for the mind, of which he was more powerful, but with increasingly limited access and a fury to match this new restriction, that had now been placed upon him, not by myself, but by a mind/ consciouseness far greater than his, that being, the sustainer and creator of us both.
I had been chatting with Trevor on the phone, telling him to "Wake up Neo." Trevor had seen the movie The Matrix and I was telling him about how 'my guides' [aka The Dragon & Co.], had described reality as being like the matrix and had refered to me as Trinity. Unbeknowns to me at the time, The Dragon had been listening in to the conversation and the next day, as I drove back to the unit, after running a few errands, a car came at me from a size street with the number place [IMYRNEO].
The Dragon shouted it as "I'M YOUR NEO" into my mind with such force and a glaring sense of possessivness, so that it would be something that I would never forget. He continued to accuse, define and label me, in emails and other messages. He also defined himself and myself over and over again and then accused me of being in love with Mackenzie, the demon. It was like the more he said it, the more I would believe it. While I had not done anything wrong, apparetly The Dragon thought that I had. The Dragon obviously had huge issues, when it came to jealousy and forgiveness.
The Dragon Labels Me As A Priest And Doctor. Here He Is Refering To The Self Of Daniel. |
