WAKING UP IN SATAN'S MATRIX: FINDING MYSELF IN ENEMY TERRITORY
Satan's Tide Of Demonic Influence Withdrew From Me Like Black Ink, Washed Back Out Into The Ocean Of The Spiritual Abyss.
My eyes had been opened. I was seeing the truth for the first time and finding myself in enemy territory. While I still loved the Jesus of my childhood, I had been counter claimed by Satan before my birth. I had been a student of the new age, which inevitably lead me onto the occult and spiritualism. While it was thought that I was psychokinetic, I had simply been groomed by demons to be a channel and medium.
They did all the work. I just allowed them to use me for their purposes, believing that I was in contact with angels/ guides, that my life was 'spiritual' and based on 'ethics'. Not understanding, that these 'new age beings of light', were both Christless and Godless. At the time, I had no idea that they were evil, and that I was being deceived by them."And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works." [2 Corinthians 11:14-15, The Holy Bible, KJV].
Not knowing any better and having had my multiple consciousness developed by them, I had learnt to love my abusers. By the time they began to slowly kill me, I wouldn't dream of blaming them. I had too much invested in the relationship, including selves who were the friends of demons. Once my eyes were opened by God, it was still very hard to see. I had found beauty in the twilight and now the light of Christ began to shine on all those things. Things that could look beautiful to one whose eyes were adjusted to the dim places of this world, but only in the darkness would they appear to be beautiful.
Only when one had grown accustomed to darkness, could it seem like the light. Only while in the grip of deception, would lies seem like the truth. Satan's Matrix [this world] was not the truth I had originally known, since The Holy Spirit came upon me as a child, teaching me of a greater world to come. But as I ventured further into this world, I had finally become accustomed to its false truth. As I wandered into it, so did it take root within me. It wanted to make me a reflection of itself, an echo of its existence. Satan owns all who abide in him, who do his work, who accept his reality, and who worship him as a god.
Oh God, What Have I Done?
I had no idea that everything, that I had been involved in, from my small charitable company to the sex industry, from my channelled artwork and writing to my mediumship, new age and occult beliefs, was not of God. Neither were any of the other things that I had been involved in, politics, religion, psychology, philosophy, my library, my whole life ... then I got this awful feeling, that by doing this, I had failed or hurt God in some way, I had hurt Jesus. Oh God, I sobbed from my heart, what have I done?
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While I had been involved in these things, everything about them had felt right and good, moral and ethical. It had seemed beautiful, sacred and how could it not be, if done in the name of ART and HUMANITY? Even while wading in the disgrace of this existence and the humiliation of the failing physical body, I had felt the need to heal and nurture the wound, to see everything as holy, inspired and instructed. While I did not know exactly why as yet, I now knew, that whatever I had been involved in, was not what God wanted. The lifelong enchantment was coming undone and I was falling apart at the seams, as I began to see things outside of the dream, perhaps as God saw them. The betrayal and deceit from the demons in my life, was not on my mind at all. Instead, it was God who now occupied my mind, my Creator and my Father in Heaven, who I had been desperate for since earliest infancy. My anguish that I had finally somehow disappointed Him, failed Him, upset Him, or even worse, that I had somehow hurt His heart, which of course I had. I did the wrong things, unknowingly. It had all been wrong. And the better it had felt and more successful I appeared to be in the world, the further I was, from my Creator. The deception was complete, a reality that surrounded me and had dictated my every move, from humanistic ethics to a romanticised indigenous view of nature. It was not what God wanted. The lie of the world, dropped from my shoulders, like a worn out cloak. My life was a shambles ... |
The Dragon Had Convinced Me That Everything Was Holy And That Even The Darkness Had It's Own Light.
For moments, I feel like an ragged poppet, as eons of demonic energy, seemed to fall away from my body. I had the feeling, that God must have been fully present at that moment, lifting me up from behind my awareness, like holding a rag doll up to the light of day. Jesus was not inside me, but I was just being held there by someome amazing and great who cared. Without this upholding, I would not have survived this awakening. I remember standing in the loungeroom of the unit I had been renting in Progress Drive in Nightcliff. It was like I remained suspended somehow, as if out of my own body, while everything around me, my artwork, my library, my life, began to sink into the ground. Whatever had upheld it, (this illusion), was seeping back into the depths of the earth. Oh God, I sobbed, I am so sorry. The grief that I experienced over my choices and actions seemed to drown out my existence and for moments, I simply hung, skeletal, suspended like a shipwreck, with an ocean pouring through my body.
Running To Jesus As Fast As I Can
God Sent His Ministering And Fighting Angels To Keep Me Focused Amid The Pursuing Chaos And Demonic Spirit Orbs.
It was not just a matter of saying 'JESUS', for me to get out of the mess I was in. Crying out to Jesus Christ, after reconnecting with the beloved groom, through The Bible, was just the beginning for me. It was at a time, when I had no idea, whether it was the beginning, or the end. My only thought was my own survival, the continuance of my spirit, as I succumbed to shock. I had no expectations of a rescue, or even of divine protection. It seemed that I soon forgot the words 'HOLD FAST' and 'TOTAL CARE', only to be reminded of them gently and periodically, by ministering and fighting angels sent from God, to overlook the process of my disengagement from Satan's world. I did not speak to them. And nor did I engage with Mackenzie Knight & Co., once I had picked up The Bible. Nor was I completely reunited with Christ. At this stage of my deprogramming, I had a vague sense of who I thought God was, and my head was still filled with thoughts of the fallen ones. Their light was false, their 'love' a lie. I trusted no one.
Holding On To My Father's Words
Upon awakening I knew several things. I knew that I was caught in between two opposing forces. I knew that there was a spiritual war and that one side wanted to kill me and the other side was saving me, from the ones who wanted to kill me. I was picking up mixed messages, confused messages, lies and complications. Whenever God's holy angels spoke, I just did as my told and hoped for the best. I held on to The Bible. I was so afraid that I would not let it go. I carried it to the bathroom when I went and it went to bed with me where I fell asleep holding it to my chest. I did know whether I would live or die at this stage, but whatever happened it was a comfort to me just to hold the book. It was physical. I was physical. The words of 'the beloved' were inside it. I held that book to my heart. I just felt that I had to hold on tight to the book, not knowing at the time that God Almighty Himself, was a witness to all of this and that to Him this would have been an act of faith. From my side, it was the best that I could do.
The Dragon's Legions Of Demons Were Furious, That Their Plans To Take Me To Hell With Them, Had Been Thwarted.
My Liberation: Initial Stages
I barely stopped to ponder on my occult library, my artwork channeled by demons, my gothic makeup and clothing and my heart filled with the dictation and teachings of the adversary. I thought that I had loved God for all these years. But once I opened The Bible, I realised how far from the teachings of Jesus Christ I had strayed. For there had been times, when I abided in Him, more than I did now. One of the first things that I noticed was that Jesus said to turn the other cheek, but with Satan on board and I had been fighting back with those who attacked me. When had I lost this? How much more had I lost? There was only one remedy for the world's illness that had infected my mind soul and body. I ran as fast as I could to the light of Jesus Christ, while clinging to the pages of The New Testament of The Holy Bible.
I thought that it was I, who took charge the white horse of [LIBERATION], but upon closer inspection, I noted that I was merely hanging on. I was in such a weakened spiritual state, after years of trance, channeling, meditation and numerous attempts at yoga, that I was barely escaping my situation, not knowing, or understanding at the time, that the strong white horse beneath me, that was carrying me out the dark landscape that I had wandered into, and that I had finally called my home, was not a white horse that I commanded. It was The Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ, who carried me out of the mess of my life. I had woken from the dream, to find that the gates had opened and Hell itself was in pursuit of me, pounding, stabbing, prickling and sticking it's needles into me. In a spiritual sense they would chase me all the way back to my Father's country and all the while, each 'side' described me as carrying a child.
Arwen Evenstar Escapes The Black Riders, Carrying Frodo To Safety, In The Lord Of The Rings Movie. |
