MEDIUMSHIP AND AWARENESS [3]: THE RESIDENT SPIRITS
It Was Like The College Was Filled With Spirit Children, Who Were Trying To Make Contact With Me.
Incidents at the Bar and Other Ghostly Tales
By the third day of the college course, there were 'spirits' coming through left, right and centre. I was still ready to leave, hanging on by my curiosity only. But the spirits wanted me, to keep trying to contact the dead. I later found 'the children', in paintings around the college and I found the man with the moustache, that had come through for Helen, in a picture on the museum wall upstairs. I concluded that I was simply picking up on the deceased local residents, rather than the deceased relatives of the students, who were sitting for me. Mathew reminded me, "You need to focus on the person in front of you. You are too focused in the spirit world." Later in the course, I asked for the little girl's name, because I had seen her, in some of the portraits, in the various lecture rooms, at the college. I could tell it was her, from the unmistakeable shape and cut of her hair. I was immediately directed to a corner, near the hallway, where I saw a Dvd with the words 'Little Miss Sunshine.' Mathew laughed out loud, saying, "It's not her!" "I know," I replied. "But that's just their way of communicating." They would use whatever was available and either place it in front of me, or lead me to it, so that through a series of situations and discoveries and upon following their advice, an ongoing two way communication was established.
The Arthur Findlay College Staircase, In Stanstead England, With Resident Spirit Orb.
While in the bar, one of the students asked, "Are you saying they turn the lights on and off at your request?" "Yeah, all the time," I replied, "The kids here have been playing games with me." The 'spirit children', had began to interact with me, by playing little games around the college. Firstly, by turning the lights by the main staircase on and off. They also lead me to small gifts on the college grounds, one of which was a 'LIFESAVER' lollie and a black satin ribbon. Then I found the same children, that I had picked up in the readings, in the paintings around the college.
He said, "Show me." I said, "I don't know whether they would do it now, but we can have a go." He looked at me, "If what you are saying is true, then you are going to be a very famous medium." This concerned me. Firstly, there was no way I wanted to be a 'famous' medium. While I loved my guides, I wasn't still sure about contacting the dead. Also, I had a taste of 'fame' as a published poet and I never wanted that again.
Secondly, and what really concerned me, was that the people here, had not heard of that kind of interaction. Why wasn't interaction with spirits, just an every day thing for a medium? Later in the evening, a 'spirit' simply opened the door in front of everyone and walked out, closing the door behind him. "See," I said, "There's one now." Several mediums screamed and everyone started to freak out. I said, "Hey, why are you so frightened? You are meant to be mediums!" They were mediums, far more competent then me, but for some reason, I sensed the spirits, that did things in front of us, or manifested externally. It did not suprise me, that the college was full of unseen residents. While my angels were not creepy, I felt very creepy at the college.
A Paddock Of Canada Geese, At The Arthur Findlay College, Where I Sensed The Wafting Ladies.
Then one of the students got drunk and wanted to hold a seance. I told her that would not be a good idea, especially when she wasn't in control of her mental faculties. I never did seances or conjuring. I didn't need to, since the spirits always came to me, without me having to initiate contact with them. Several of the students from our table, including Fran, then did a seance and I enterd the bar, as they came screaming from the room. They said a spirit had materialised and placed his hand on Fergal. They grabbed me and took me in and I sensed an old man leaving, cranky that they had been so drunk and noisy. Fergal then told me, how he was standing by the museum, a few nights before and someone had placed a hand on his shoulder. It had been the man. He was an extroverted spirit, who haunted the museum and he was very intense, to the extent that I avoided that floor altogether. On my last night at the college, while Helen and I were saying our sad 'good-byes' in the foyeur, 'the man' had turned the museum light on, when no one was in there.
The Wafting Ladies
A Drawing Showing My Impression Of The Wafting Ladies.
Ever since arriving at the college, I had sensed a collective of spirits, whom I refered to as 'The Wafting Ladies', passing over the grounds. I found them somewhat creepy and they were the reason, I liked to get back to my room before dark, making sure that the windows were closed and the curtains drawn. I felt their scary energy, coming into the room and I didn't like it. Towards the end of the course, I asked two of the mediums, if they picked up on anything, out on the clearing, where I sensed 'The Wafting Ladies'? The first, a male student and a particularly good medium, picked up on the colour and the flowing. The second student said, "They know you."
They then told her to ... come. "No way," I laughed. I wasn't going anywhere near them! I was getting high off all this interaction, but it didn't feel right. It felt scary, but thrilling at the same time. The grounds of the college were haunted. I had made my way down the hallway, to the communal bathroom, during the night and back again, only to find myself suddenly hurrying, as if something was right behind me.
It was also during this course, that my psychic eye opened up and I began to see dead people, for the first time. One of the things to appear amidst the faces, eyes and noses coming through, was a giant eye, a giant eye, that was always very close and unblinking. I said to a few of the students, "I keep getting this giant eye. It's like a big cat's eye looking at me." It seemed human and like a cat's eye, at the same time.
I wondered what it as doing there, but just assumed whoever was approaching me, must be very close. If they were operating in a sensible spiritual world, where the deceased came through, to say the same things over and over again, then they were operating in a completely different spiritual world to me. Where I had ended up was dark, chaotic, needy, sinister, deliberate and there were 'spirits' by the thousands and psychic landscapes, appearing and vanishing, along with their faces. I received no messages about the dead, only of being watched and observed, by forces that I knew nothing about and that somehow, by being at the college, and being taught to open my mind, in the way that I was, that these spirits could still not really see and interact with me directly. I needed to talk about my experiences, perhaps to a counsellor. who was knowledgeable in spiritual matters, but there was no back up.
Frodo Sees Into The Spirit World, In The Dead Marshes, In The Two Towers [The Lord Of The Rings] Movie.
A World Without Love
I wanted to totally immerse myself in the course, but I still wasn't quite sure about it. The messages of the dead people that came through, all seemed to be the same. They were either proving who they were, affirming they were okay, or saying they were sorry, as they made connections with the sitter, through the medium. There was something oddly hollow about these interactions, that always left one wanting more. I was in grief from the death of my pop, nan, dad, my two dogs and several aquaintances. I was completely desirous of finding them alive and knowing that they were okay. While I did not show it, I was desperate, as were many of the students. Much to my disappointment, Mathew had blocked me from passing my ring around, to see if the students would pick up any impressions. It was an apported ring, having materialised in thin air. It had been given to me by my guides. Mathew said that the students were not comfortable with it. But once outside the lecture room, the students couldn't wait to give their impressions, while waiting in the cue, for the dining room and several said, that it was a confirmation ring of some kind.
Neverthelss, the college was a far cry from the warm and friendly place, that one would expect from such high spiritual leanings. I was blocked, when poppy came through, because the lecturer who was channelling the spirits at the time, didn't like me. I got along well with the students, but the lecturers were cold and defensive. They would answer me with a 'yes' or 'no' and just walk away. Not one of the female lecturers was friendly, supportive, or offered a kind word. In fact, I felt that the lecturers were somehow, ... deeply troubled. I also thought that the students, spent alot of time, talking about their very tragic personal lives. This concerned me, since I had become very fond of some of the students, that I had met during the course.
The Spiritualist Church Service, at The Arthur Findlay College, Was All About Contacting The Dead.
It wasn't too long, before I was sitting in the cafeteria thinking, this place should be vegan and completely loving. Love should be the core foundation, of everything that was being taught here. In a way the spirit world of The Arthur Findlay College, was a replica of the human world, except for the humans we were contacting, no longer inhabited physical bodies. I thought, what is the point of any of this without love? Their spirit world was structured, ordered and sensible and the spirit world that I found myself in, was vacuous, mysterious and downright creepy. Where was the love? While Mathew was very funny, he also made fun of people who prayed to God by looking up. He said, "We can't love everyone." I thought, Yes we can. Jesus did.
Helen Reads Dad & Reading Is Continued Outside
During one of the classes, Helen picked up on my father and he was just like when he was alive. This was unexpected. In between proving that it was actually him, by trying to connect to me, with images from [our] lives, he couldn't stop talking, complaining and giving his opinion. He appeared to be comfortable with Helen. I wondered why all the spirits had to prove themselves. I supposed if I was dead and desperate to get through, I'd be doing the same thing. Also as Mathew said, there were laws and rules in the spirit world and so this seemed to be why dad and his and my angels, were all just fitting into that. I was only new to this. The mediums and the angels knew more than I did. I was just happy that my father had come through.
After a brief reading with Helen, I decided to go for a walk outside, to communicate with 'the spirits', about what had just occurred and to try and get my head together, out in the fresh air. Mathew said that it was 'our guides', that were communicating on behalf of the spirits and I felt this too. It was my angels, or perhaps my father's angels, who were relaying these messages. I was not talking to my father directly and I knew that. I had asked Mathew why the dead just didn't come through and speak to us directly, rather than using spirit guides and mediums? He replied, that there was too much emotional investment involved, that may cause the contactee, to cloud and distort the messages, by not acting as a phone receiver for the dead. I could certainly see what he meant, but something was not adding up. The readings were always mysterious and they always left you wanting more. I knew it was my father. I just wanted to speak with him personally. Apparently, this was not to be, and I was so thrilled to be in contact with him, that if I had to rely on Helen, then, so be it.
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As I began my solitary walk into the trees, I asked for another 'sign', that it was my father and in my mind, receiving a sign would be telling me, that not only was it my father, but that everything would be okay. Immediately, I pointed to my left beneath some shrubs and there I found an old green antique bottle, just like the bottles my father and I used to collect out at Twin Rivers, near the small New South Wales outback town of Brewarrina. Hahaha, I laughed, as I did a little dance out under the foliage, holding the bottle up high into the air, as a sign of victory. But as was the usual case, I still required reassurance.
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I Liked To Spend Alot Of Time On My Own, In The Company Of The Faeries.
As I walked deeper into the gardens on the college grounds, I began to notice white feathers and then some floated down onto me. But I didn't know what this meant and so I dismissed it. Then I pointed to behind myself suddenly, using my right arms as a dowsing rod. I followed my arm, to where I was pointing and there, hidden beneath some flowers and ferns, was a tiny plaque in the ground. It said: CORAL YOU WILL LIVE FOREVER. My mouth dropped. This was obviously someone named 'Coral', that had died and had her ashes buried on the college grounds. It just seemed peculiar, that I was finding my family member's names, including my own, at the college.
I Saw A Man Appear Beneath The Trees, On The College Grounds, Only To Vanish Again, Moments Later.
As I kept walking, I saw a young man walk out of some hedges and into some other hedges, suddenly appearing and disappearing again. When I went over to investigate. he wasn't anywhere to be found and as far as I was concerned, there was nowhere that he could have gone. That was a ghost, I thought, although he had looked real, there had been something fleeting about his passing, observed in a soundless atmosphere. I then began to think about dad again, and who he was apologising to through Helen. I pointed to some roses with my left arm. I walked over to them and there in he ground was my grandmother's name on another plaque of the dead, who were buried at the college. It said, "EILEEN." I thought, Yes, Eileen and who else?
I then made my way back to the college building and into the bar, to sit with some of the other students and as I looked down at the champagne bottle, that sat in a polished silver holder, I saw the words: "MUM & CO." I shrieked in shock and delight, as my questions were answered, wherever I seemed to be. Yes, he was apologising to "EILEEN, MUM & CO." This was exactly that same way, in which my own 'spirit' guides [angels], had taught me to communicate with them, over a four year period.
It Was Just Like Him
It would be just like dad, to call a link 'a bridge' and to complain that no one would go fishing with him. This was unmistakably ... dad. I was completely overwhelmed with love for my father. Now I just needed to tell mum, that he was still alive and I also needed him to be okay. I was grateful to Helen. I wanted to give her everything I had, but nothing seemed enough, for the gift that she had given me, that being, knowing that my father was alive, five years after he had died. He was still alive!
I Was Emotionally Overwhelmed, That My Deceased Father, Had Been Able To Make Contact.
Back in my room, late that night, with no one around, I cried for my father and our lost relationship. It was him. He was lost out there, in one of these realities. But now we had found him. I had found him through Helen, but how was I going to help him find peace and heal the broken relationships? My father was alive, but he did not talk of Heaven or Hell, of God or The Devil. Instead he talked and talked, as if only a moment had passed, since he had moved from one state of being, into the next.
That night, lying beneath the prints of alert owls and little brown birds, and with the huge dormatory windows tightly closed before nightfall, I cried myself to sleep over my father. I was so happy that he was still alive, but he was not okay. He was not okay in his life either. He was suffering alone, filled with anguish and regret, out in some dark and lonely void. I didn't want my father to suffer. I needed more contact.
Moonlight Shadow - Mike Oldfield |
