MEDIUMSHIP AND AWARENESS [4]: FERGAL AND THE BIG CAT
As A Multiple, This Edward Atkins Hornel Painting Of Little Girls, In A Deep Dark Forest, Resonated With Me.
Poppy Comes Through Twice
We spent our time at The Arthur Findlay College, contacting 'the dead'. As the course progressed, a talented student, named Rachel, was to 'read' directly, from the audience of students, assisted by one of the female lecturers, in the main lecture hall. I was stunned to hear that poppy began to come through, almost immediately, alongside a woman's brother, a few rows in front of me. We both raised our hands at the comments being put forward by Rachel. I knew that it was pop, that was coming through, so when female lecturer instructed Rachel to read for the student in front of me, excluding me altogether, I was simply beside myself, that pop and I had been prevented from making contact. I felt that this may be my one and only chance, of making contact with my deceased grandfather. I was about to leave the hall, but I was told to 'wait' by my guides and to just look out the window at the flowers.
Directly beneath me were carnations. I remembered that pop used to grow these in the garden, at Boonah Ave in Matraville. I then looked further away and saw a bed of roses and I remembered that roses were pop's favourite flower. I later found out from mum, on the phone, that pop loved flowers in general and that he had a big painting of a vase of roses, hanging on the wall, at Boonah Avenue. As I stared out the window, shifting my focus past the lecture hall, the reading went on, confirming more details for the woman in front, some confirmed and some guessed at, since they were details only known by myself and that belonged to my dead grandfather.
Once back at the library lecture room, we settled into the afternoon's readings, and pop came straight through, another student medium saying to me, "Calm down, calm down, calm down", which is exactly how pop would responded and when I had asked for another message, he said, "Watch the arm." It was later confirmed by my mother, over the phone, that this message had been for Karen. The doctor had torn a ligament in Karen's arm after an operation, that was now causing her great concern.
Often I Would Take To Drawing Little Pics, Trying To Figure Out The 'Energies' In A Space.
In regards to me being cut ogff my the medium in the lecture hall, I asked Mathew what could have happened, when there seemed to be two positive identifications, where one detail that fell short of the mark was simply picked up by the other. Mathew said, that in this case, it would have been two lots of people that came through, that being pop and the other student's deceased brother. So he continued, "It was the medium, the woman, her brother, pop, my guides and myself, and perhaps the guides of all the others involved as well." Mathew said in this case, it would simply have been, who the lecturer [medium], had a connection with and that it was with the woman in front of me and not myself. I was told by Mathew, that two spirits had come through and in the end, it was to the medium's preference, to which one she would take on. Since she prefered the woman sitting in front of me, she simply dismissed me. I remained behind in the lecture room to sort it out, by drawing what I thought had occurred on a serviette. Later that night at the student bar, Rachael apologised to me, since she had felt that my grandfather had been the stronger connection, but she had to do what the lecturer instructed her to do. It had been devastating for me. We were all struggling to be in touch with our loved ones.
The Maori Man
After a break for lunch, the classes in the library continued into the afternoon. It wasn't long before the spirit of a deceased school teacher came through and gave her personal approval of what I was achieving spritually and her encouragement to keep going. This was very odd, indeed. Mathew was not having a bar of it. And then, as if this wasn't enough, the spirit of a maori man [from New Zealand], came through a medium and was saying that he 'loved' me. Seeing that the medium was becoming upset, I turned to Mathew, pleading, ... that I didn't know who this man was!
Mathew said, "You must know him." But I couldn't think. The medium that was working with me, went through a very hard time emotionally. She began to weep, barely able to express [on behalf of him], how deep his love was for me. I felt awful, wanting to help this man. I called over to Mathew, "What am I going to do?" This man is saying he loves me. Mathew said, "That is all in your imagination." I replied, "Well, the medium is imagining the same thing, so we all must be sharing the same collective imagination." Apparently, if the spirits did not fit into the structure of the course, they were ignored. I felt very distressed by this and when I closed my eyes, I was seeing this man's face, in ghostly white, his mouth, eyes and nose coming very close to me. "He's still here," I said, with my hands over my eyes. The medium started to cry. "Is this normal?" I asked Mathew concerned, "What should I do about this? Should I just treat him like any man in the flesh?" It concerned me that he loved me. The love was so intense and the medium so emotionally distraught, that she had to withdraw. She stopped the reading, saying, "This is not meant to be happening."
A short while later, Helen, who was the most competent medium on this course, came over to me and said, "Lets see if we can pick up on this fellow again, shall we?" Helen struck me as having a big heart, when it came to both the living and the dead. The maori man responded, by coming through her, almost instantly. "Oh," she said, "He's not saying that he's 'in love' with you. He wants to tell you that he loves you, like he loves his land, New Zealand." He wanted to express to me, that when he'd met me, that he had lost everything, including his wife. He wanted to say, how grateful he was, how kind I had been to him, how 'bright' I was. It was as if he was just so happy about this and that he was overwhelmed by a love, that he only ever had for his homeland. He had touched my heart and concerned me simultaneously.
Sometimes When I Closed My Eyes I Saw Hundreds Of Fluterring Wings Of Bats And Crows.
I didn't know what to do, or say and so I just treated him, like I normally treated 'spirits of the dead' and that was, like I would treat the living. Why should they be treated any differently, just because they no longer inhabited physical bodies? I thanked him very much and then gently backed away. It was only much later, that I rememberd who this man was. I had meet him twice. I was disappointed to hear that he had passed on, because he was so young. I was then told, that we formed a link, with anyone that was in our memory, or that we were involved with and that after death, they did come through to us. I thought, remind me to be careful of who to mix with in future. But it was a bit late to be thinking about that. Why weren't we told these things and why wasn't anybody helping these people, after they had died?
Dad Suddenly Comes Through Again
Then Helen said, "Your father is here again." This time Helen described a shovel and wheelbarrow, then bricks, the laying of bricks, then a structure of some kind and jewels beneath the ground, 'Oh many jewels, opals, sapphires and rubies.' I had a feeling of what dad was attempting to convey through her. He was still on the track of reminding me, of good times we'd had and the things he did for me, or with me.
My thoughts were confirmed, once Helen mentioned a mine shaft. This was accompanied by the beaten up van, with the open back, that I used to accompany dad in. While I did not say anything to Helen, it was through these images, that I knew that dad was talking about a trip, that we had done together, looking for opals and about the opal necklace, he had given me, for my twenty first birthday. The van was actually a big beaten up, old Ford station wagon and the open back, was that dad never wound the window up, allowing the dust and dirt to fly in. This was accompanied by a tent and the tent, was by a lake and dad was insisting, that we had had a good time. I could clearly see, through the way this was being delivered, that dad was looking for 'common good' and 'shared memories and experiences' between us, which was his way, of trying to quell some of the pain. Helen went on to say, "So many regrets ..." then, suddenly exclaimed, "Oh dear, he's really suffered." This was simply heartbreaking to me, that dad might suffer in death, as he had done in life and I wondered if there was an end to it. It was enough to see him destroy himself in life, but to hear, that he was suffering now, was very painful for me.
Dad began to say all kinds of things, talking and not stopping, just as he would have done, while alive. He talked about mining for opal and the necklace he had given me. He said again, that he was, 'sorry'. He advised me to, do exactly what you want. Make sure that you do what you want. He also said that he was happy, that 'a bridge', between us, had been established and that he wanted to maintain it. It was actually called 'a link', but I thought, that is just like dad, to call it a bridge, since he was a fisherman. That night, I again cried out for my father and I cried myself to sleep. I felt upset and confused and also I was in shock. I could not actually believe, that I had found my deceased father, still alive. It was a miracle sent from God and it was one of the most important things, that had ever happened to me, in my life.
We were amazed, that my father just turned up for Helen, even though she had not entered into a meditation. Helen asked Mathew, "Why didn't I have to enter into a meditation, in order to pick him up?" Mathew said, that it was based on need and if the need was very great, then they could come through, without the medium going into their power. I desperately wanted to know, that my father was okay. Helen and I seemed to spend, a good deal of time together, at the college after that. It was like a special bond had developed between us. Helen said, that she had been sending dad some healing and I hoped that it was working. Once more relaxed, Helen said, that dad had spoken of two good mates. But had also complained, that no one would go fishing with him. Then she suddenly said, “Oh yes, he loved his fishing!” Helen then went on to say, how dad would 'lose himself', while fishing, out on the riverbank.
Also that he was 'sorry', about how he had been with us and that while most people seemed confused about their emotions, he had never known, whether he had even had any emotions towards us. Helen apologised before she said this to me, in case it caused further injury. Again, I knew by Helen's intimations and expression, as well as the words, that this was really dad, doing his best to speak through her and to get his message across. Dad was a thinker and it was exactly the kind of things he would reflect on. Helen also said, that dad said that 'a bridge' had been built. I knew that dad was happy about this, but I still didn't know how I felt. It took a 24 hours for all of this to sink in, whereupon the link (or bridge), as dad had called it, became very important, to somehow maintain this contact, that had been established between us.
Fergal and the Big Cat
Later on, during the late afternoon, I took another walk around the college grounds. It was very peaceful, chattering away amongst my selves and my guides. The college grounds, were full of unseen life, both natural and otherworldly. I noticed the peacefulness, that would be enough to lull one into a deep sleep, perhaps forever. Then I saw Fergal on his mobile phone. He was a nice young man, who was part of the table I sat at. He had a good relationship with all the women there including Winnie, whom he called 'Nan.' It was very sweet. We had chatted a bit more now, that we found that our rooms were next to each other and that we were, in fact, in the most haunted part of the college.That explained my need to run, rather than walk, when alone. The janitor had told us, that a woman and her child, both dressed in period clothes, had been seen standing near the elevator, as if waiting to go down. They were there one moment, before they simply vanished. There were also other incidents, that had occurred, within the rooms themselves. Fergal was as interested in the ghostly inhabitants, as I was, but while here, we refered to them as 'spirits.'
Little Red Riding Hood Illustration.
Fergal wandered over, putting his phone away and we chatted light heartedly about the unseen college residents, joking about X-File Investigations. About five minutes into the conversation, Fergal said, "Oh God, what is that?!" He shivered involuntarily, looking directly behind me, back into the trees. "Do you feel that?" he asked, in his thick Irish accent. "God, it's awful." I had known something was there, but it hadn't concerned me. With me, there was always 'something', or 'someone' there. I equated this feeling, with some kind of poltergiest energy, that I believed was moving along the creek bed. I turned back to him saying, "I think there might be running water underground here. Maybe that's causing it. What are you picking up?" Fergal went still again, shaking his head, "It's like something is stalking us. It's like a giant cat, like a black panther. "Oh God, I'm going!" We both left the area and I said to him, "I do think it's from the stream. But yeah, ... best not to go back there again though."
I Was Very At Home With Spirits And Liked To Wander Into Places Were Worlds Collided. |
