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THE ENGAGEMENT WARS [4]: A HARD DAY'S KNIGHT
I Knew That There Some Kind Of Fight Going On But I Didn't Know What To Do.
The one talking through the pc [The Dragon], was the same one I had always known, although, I was unable to distinguish between any of them at the time, only seeing that others were involved, when they addressed or spoke about each other. The Dragon then commented on Mackenzie and Boots, that had come from Edinburgh:
What are these
PANTLESS KNIGHTS?
This had totally shocked me. It was outrageous. Yet I was fascinated by the audacity of it. It was like I knew him. He also paid me out in regards to the ring that he had materialised for me. His tone was that of being angrily bemused. I felt that I was in an abusive relationship with him. I didn't know how to get away from him. He was controlling my thoughts, my dreams, my body, my environment and people around me. He had been like a father to me and when had my life ever really been my own?
One moment I had been living my life and the next I was engulfed my him, both obsessed by him and possessed by him, but I still had enough of something left in me to project my own thoughts back at him, what a minute, how dare you judge me for my involvement with him when you are trying to destroy my soul. How dare you!
The worst thing was that I seemed to both love him and fear him at the same time. I hid my feelings carefully, but the attachment must have been obvious and then there was all the 'love poetry' that he had helped compose, from me to him. I was still memserised, but now terrified as well, and while it felt like we were 'the dream of each other', I wanted out of whatever this situation was that I had gotten myself into.
"The Magical Mystery Tour Is Dying To Take You Away" - The Beatles.
The Dragon Claims His Bride
I just didn't know what to do. I appeared to be forgetting things by the minute. I was losing my grip disintergrating, not into madness, but into coping, as my thoughts were being captivated and consumed by him. His only enjoyment seemed to come from his ability to have complete power over me and he was ceaseless in his caress, his lullaby of death, that continued day and night, with only a few hours relief from dawn until noon or soon after, and now I knew that there was more than one of them. What the Hell were they talking about? I didn't want him, whoever he was [The Dragon] and I didn't want them, whoever they were [Mackenzie and Boots]. This did not sound like my guides, or 'angels', at all. Everything had turned creepy and super scary.
It seemed like one moment, I was who I had always been and then the next moment, I was paralysed in my own home, where an ongoing chaotic cacophony of thoughts overtook me, in a rage of enforced thinking that was not my own. I did not even think in these terms. My only thoughts were of clinging onto the rocky cliff's edge of my consciousness, as wave after wave washed over me, drowning me into their deep dark selves. I was told that my ancestors had copulated with demons and that my mother had sex with demons and that I was only part human. I was part angel and part human. As such he was coming to take me to Hell with him, to claim his bride. [Update 2014: The Dragon was actually refering to a royal ancestory and then beyond that, where women had allegedly had sex with fallen angels?! See Genesis 6:2]
It seemed extraordinary to him [The Dragon aka Christopher The Black Magician], that I was unaware of my fate and that I could be disagreeable. The messages of sarcasm and enjoyment of my fear, came thick and fast by him manipulating things outside my body, to create endless streams of communicating synchronicities. I had not known, I mean to say, ... half human and half cat?! At one stage, I found myself weeping, "I'm so sorry. If I hurt anybody, I didn't know. I'm so sorry." I was saying these things, because I was genuinely sorry for blessing Mackenzie in the cemetery, I didn't want to become a bride and be taken to Hell. I felt helpless and disorientated.
If The Dragon had gone into a fit of jealous rage in regards to my interaction with Mackenzie Knight, while in Edinburgh, he was perfectly furious that there was another, whom he addressed as 'YOUR MONITOR' and that I was not telling the truth, tell them how you really feel about me, that you want me. [Update 2014: The 'Monitor' turned out to be a holy angel of God, who was dispatched to assist me].
I Did Not Know Whether I Could Wake Up From The Dream, Even When That Dream Was Killing Me.
I seemed to suddenly drop out of consciousness while fully wake in my own room. I knew that it was the early morning, when I should be getting up and I knew that I was wide awake. I may have already been up to go to the bathroom, but for some reason, there felt like these cuts in time and I found myself suddenly laying backward on my bed, as though one moment my body was fully on the bed, and then the very next moment, there was another cut in time, much like the editing of a film script and I found my body half off the bed, or at least it felt as if my head was, then my head was back on the bed. It was really hard to tell, but I did know that I was awake and that it was quite a while after the sun had risen, due to the light coming in through the blinds and the natural light in my room. But the reality and my consciousness was somehow no longer my own, but was being directed/ controlled by something else.
Aside from the force that was operating in my own mind, I felt myself being twisted and turned on the bed, so that it felt as if my mind were held my something and being dragged towards it. This thing that I was being dragged towards felt like a cross between a black hole and a spinning galaxy, and as I was dragged towards it, I sensed that it was a consumer and destroyer of energy and souls, so that I started coming apart at the seams, like my body and soul where being stretched out. In this abyss was a gargantuan consciousness that I knew to be the OMEGA. From this swirling chaotic kaleidoscope of consciousness, I seemed to sense millions of others in a cacophony of individuals, a swirling soup of souls, that this being from abyss, or that the abyss itself, then fed upon. Real or not, this was how it felt to me, at the time.
When it first began, I was unaware that it had begun. I simply clung on and went into freefall simultaneously, diverging between the two states of being, only occasionally surfacing for air. The closer I was dragged towards the OMEGA, the more scattered and fragmented I became, and I very quickly realised it was not a world for a soul, but instead fragments of countless souls, and I was helplessly being dragged into this giant whirlpool by my hair, that then changed into my consciousness. Then, I don't know what happened. It was like another sudden cut in time. I could easily say that there were moments when I continued to recognise my surroundings, like there was one moment, where I realised I had not left the unit for a week, and I noticed that I had not been able to get to my kitchen in order to do the washing up. But then I was fallen, back into the mind of him and his many battalions and dominions of the damned. A kaliedoscope of impulses. I battled these thoughts. I argued with them.
I Was Often In A State Of Speechless Shock, That He Would Dare To Communicate With Me.
I pleaded for my life. At one point I had been turned around on my own bed, not even knowing how I got there, as something tried to pull my consciousness from my body through the top of my head, it felt like my hair being dragged, towards a huge abyss, where the caogony of thoughts increased a millionfold, it felt like I was being sucked into a black hole 'THE OMEGA', that I was dragged towards, it felt like something out of Star Trek. When I got out on the street the first number plate was [BEAM ME UP].
[Update 2017: The Dragon introduced me to Wicca, in my early twenties and then, over two decades later, he accused me of being a 'witch' and of hypnotising him. He also got me to do all these [some of them funny, but nevertheless self/ selves indulgent websites, regarding my/ our multiplicity, only to turn on me later, in regards to the same ideas, that he had originally suggested. This is what out spiritual adversary, 'the devil' does. He deceives and seduces us, to indulge in various sinful activities, that displease a holy God and then he goes to God, to slander us, regarding our involvement in them. Is that hypocritical? The fact is, that fallen angels/ demons will do anything that God allows them too, always pushing and testing God's laws, looking for 'loopholes', in order to decieve and destroy the eternal salvation of human beings, who are unsaved and who, in lacking Biblical knowledge, are unable to protect themselves and so, end up in Hell, as the trophies of the devils, who are going to be there too, since at this late hour, they have nothing to lose. "Therefore rejoice, ye heavens, and ye that dwell in them. Woe to the inhabiters of the earth and of the sea! for the devil is come down unto you, having great wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time." [Revelation 12:12, The Holy Bible, KJV].]
Within You Without You - The Beatles. |
