GENIE [3]: A GOD IN THE CEMETERY
I Had Become A Prisoner To An Enchanted Existence. I Wanted A Way Out. I Wanted The Truth.
Despite me finding these things out, with him in my mind, I kept forgetting any new knowledge that I had been given and instead, going back to my thinking, that he might be the spirit of a man who needed my help. Regardless of my situation, I just could not hate him. He was too fascinating and my sympathy was aroused like never before. Mostly, I just felt bad. I wanted to do something. But I didn't know what I could do. There was an utter sense of powerlessness, where I existed in a plasma reality, that slowed me down to a point where I appeared to be moving, rather than walking normally. Any confidence was draining out of my body. I was becoming a whimpering mess with a bleeding heart. Worse still, I did not understand his hatred.
I had done nothing to him. I was just a woman who had visited a cemetery on a ghost tour. He was straight out of a fairy tale or mythology. I had no idea what to do with the knowledge of him and now he was coming after me. I was determined to keep it together, but there came a memory, that would occasionally surface, where my senses responded to a howling wind, blowing across a landscape of deep snow.
I wrote the following in my journal:
This Email Was Made To Sound Like One Demon Bragging To Another, Using The Email To Show Off.
I was still wandering how and why such an intelligent being, could spend his time scratching, biting and mauling tourists in Greyfriars Kirkyard. I was also emotionally exhausted and felt like I could only squeak out my question in the form of a hoarse whisper and so I asked him with my mind, If you are a GOD, I thought, then why do you live in a cemetery? My thoughts croaked with the revelation of it and then of the growing sadness and disappointment of disempowering one who had power over me.
No answer. I looked up from where I had been sitting on the floor at the base of my bed and I let the thought come to me several times. It had to be several times and it had to be considered very carefully before the great fog of his oppression lifted from it. I turned to where I thought he might be in a dimension parallel to my own and I knew with certainty that, he was lying to me. I waited for his response, but I only perceived a continuing absence, a silence suddenly so thick and empty, that it would appear that the situation had simply been in my own imagination all along. This was a revelation, my first enquiry into the situation that I had simply accepted so far ...
Little did I know at the time, that this was the very beginning of my fighting back. It was my first unbelief of his word, a denying of his gross and bullying power over me, and a demand for some kind of explanation for what he was telling me. But he didn't answer and of course, he didn't have to. Soon that unquiet became an echo playing back upon itself, in some distant landscape that I had not yet penetrated, except as one being led by strangers with a blindfold on. Then, quite simply, I forgot about this brief interaction, to the extent where I desired no further explanation, as I returned to the fog of my own weakness and continued to be held captive within a mind, by an invading presence. I was filled with his thoughts and feelings, as much as my own.
I Finally Decided To Stand Up For Myself By Daring To Question Him On His Position And Location. |
